The rain.
It could wash away all of your anger. All of my selfishness.
If only had we let our umbrellas fly away on the windy days.
Till we were drenched, in nothing else but the rain.

The bottled nobody.

Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, a few loose strands were sticking out just like her hope.

Eyes bright as the streetlights and pupils, the size of elephants.

Her hands were shaking as the screen of her phone light up.

Couldn't be him. Shouldn't be him.

It wasn't. Again.

She closed her eyes tightly and inhaled in some of the sea breeze. Sharp, saline and full of memories.

She could see his face, almost angelic. His lively eyes, his not so perfect nose, his week old stubble, his perfectly full lips and his crooked half smile.

The smoke coming out of her lips formed an unclear shape. Something she couldn't name. Well, even if it had a real name, she wouldn't remember it. Always forgetting what she didn't like.

Cigarettes were her emotional dumbbells or so she had thought of before lighting this one.However when it started leaving a bitter taste in her mouth, she threw it away.

Wishing silently that it would start a fire, somewhere.

Like the made one start, in her belly. Pill one. Slow death. Pill two. Funeral.

Her head felt light between her hands but she just couldn’t let the tears come out. There were no two ways about it, it was the only option. The right and rational option.

She had left or had he?

She looked up at the summer sky, bright orange, clear and harmless. The ambitious waves kept trying to reach her feet but ran out of their will midway. Just like him. She had to return to them.

2 am. Her eyes are weary and tired. Of waiting and wanting. She put her phone away and got into the covers. She light up one of the three joints lying scattered to the headboard’s left. It made her smile how everything she thought was a sign and couldn’t see the obvious ones. The night was warm and humid. The smoke made it worse. Her sweat and tears started almost at the same time, just like their kisses would. She touched her stomach over her t-shirt and laughed at the thought how her own body had betrayed her. An hour went by as her head shredded off all the weight, a little at a time. She could almost see him. He was looking at her and giving her his best smile. Sitting there with a guitar in his white linen shirt and faded blue denims. Hair tousled and nails bitten.

No she couldn't be closing her eyes, not now. She could almost hear him singing their song. In his buttery voice.

we saw a storm from far away 
and we laughed as it wandered by
then it turned around to hunt us down
so we ran away to hide
and she said
love don't leave me now.

Her fight had ended. Eyes had lost. He was gone.

The random quote

Optimism will make you break and cross mountains

Pessimism will make you look at the mountain and look away

It is upto you

In your life

If you want to be the performer

or just a bored member of the audience.

-Prerana Sastri

;)

Look at that man on the street !

He sat on the street pavement and watched the cars pass by. Tonight the lights were hurting his eyes. Too much to drink too little to eat perhaps. He wrapped the piece of cloth that he had found today tightly around his shoulders. It was a bitter cold night and one of the worst ones he had faced. Shivering here seemed so ironical because he had all the money to buy a house and sleep under a warm quilt. But if he did that he would despise himself. Every day he saw children throw away half of the food in their plates, he was reminded of his father. Likewise His father never cared about how much money he spent. His father being a diamond dealer had provided his son with all the luxuries life could offer. After his father’s death in a local shootout, the hatred for money started seeping in. At the age of 13 he lay next to his father’s body covered in blood and swore never to touch money all his life. However he gave up by the next week as the stock of groceries ran out.

When he turned sixteen his uncle gave him a big fat envelope of money as his uncle latched the door behind him with his mother inside the room. He wept till his throat hurt, his mom remained silent. He swore never to touch money all his life and failed yet again when his mother was taken to the hospital next night. She poisoned herself and died with the guilt in her heart.

When he was twenty one he finally got richer than most of the people in town. He had the best girls, the best wine and the best clothes than money could offer. With so much of money pumping in his bank account he stopped hating money until one night the hatred hit him back.

He walked into a bar where he saw her. The heavy makeup could not disguise the amount of fear in her eyes. She looked like a scared little kid whose candy was being thrown around by the bigger kids. Only this time it was her dignity being passed around and being messed with. He tried to distract himself by trying to listen to what the tall, beautiful woman was saying. She was his date tonight and Oh the world said she had the most beautiful lips they had ever seen on a woman. Ofcourse He agreed. No matter how hard he tried, his eyes went fetching for the woman he couldn’t get out of his mind. There she stood again, now with a different group of people. He couldn’t take it anymore. He absolutely had to talk to her ! He wanted to take her into his arms and kiss those eyelids. He wanted to tell her that he could be the one to take her away from all of this. He could give her back the smile that was lost in this city. He could bring her back to the life she always dreamed of. As soon as he walked towards her the manager stopped him. He said “don’t try to rescue this one, she’s counting her last few days anyway” And then their eyes met. She smiled at him. They walked out.

Next morning when he watched her bringing him coffee, He couldn’t understand. He tried his best to recollect about the previous night but before he could ask anything she sat on the chair next to his bed, tied her wavy hair into a loose bun and spoke “thanks a lot you know.. No one has been so generous towards me.. I spiked your drinks last night.. I thought I’d do that and rob you and your girlfriend but you guys were so nice to me. I would’ve taken your money to buy myself some more of heaven. You know how heaven works right ? I cant say it out loud because your house is full of those policemen. Oh or maybe those are your servants? I cant really tell. So much of my vision has gone away. So your girlfriend seems to have vanished this morning. Maybe I did scare her. I wanted to buy it so bad! Those buggers have stopped trading it for flesh now. They say im dying and are asking me to stop. I don’t really care though. You know how to count sheep in your sleep? That’s the exact way to die I have learnt. Slowly. Or maybe not”

Before he could get his hands untangled she had already jumped out of his window.

That’s when he decided to quit money. Ofcourse the whole city laughed at the tabloid that stated the same. He couldn’t care less. He moved out of the city and lived inside the tree house that was orphaned by one of the rich kids. Many nights especially like tonight he didn’t have the will to go back to the house. He wanted to watch the cars. He loved the sound. Absolutely.

Who was he anyway ?

A wannabe non-conformist.

A man who didn’t think.

A man with no head.

Yes, many names they called him.

Again, He couldn’t care less.

Had he quit money ? Oh yes.