The blue ticket.

In the last seat sat a middle aged couple. They complained that seats weren't comfortable. After a long argument about who gets the armrest they dozed off to sleep. In front of them were the students who were not so eager to meet their parents. It had been long they met. With their backpacks thrown across lazily on the board, they were listening to some music that the rest hadn’t heard of. It was blaring out of the small device the girl had in her hands. In the next row sat an old man with a wrinkled gloomy face. He had been a stronger man as a young soldier but now when his vision no longer agreed to take his commands, he asked the man next to him to read the newspaper for him. That man was Jude. The very same Jude who couldn’t wait to meet his family again. Jude smiled at the old man and spread out the newspaper between his fingers. He asked the man what section was he interested in listening to, the old man said,” Read me anything as long as it’s happy.” After an hour or so the old man fell asleep. Maybe it’s the wind or maybe it’s the age, Jude thought to himself. In the seats ahead of Jude sat the prettiest child he had ever seen. The long loose curls, the wide gap-toothed smile and the innocent bright eyes just wouldn’t take no for an answer. She was being persistent to her mother about wanting to meet her ‘grampa’. The mother smiled and said “soon dear soon”. The girl slept in her mother’s arms.
Rest of the seats in the bus were empty. Maybe because it was such a long journey. Maybe they were the few lucky ones. Why were they there? Their time in the darkness had run out, their lives hadn’t. Jude looked down at his ticket. The blue paper had ‘admit one’ written in big bold black letters. All he could see on the ticket was ‘home’. He looked at the lazy conductor and shut his eyes. No more ear deafening noises in the middle of the night, no more blind hatred for their community, No more weeping children, no more scared eyes queuing up and walking up to the tower. It had ended. Sleep was finally here.

The random quote

Optimism will make you break and cross mountains

Pessimism will make you look at the mountain and look away

It is upto you

In your life

If you want to be the performer

or just a bored member of the audience.

-Prerana Sastri

;)

In her shoes.

She says she’s just another face in the crowd

She looks in the mirror and hates what she sees

A mind that has been thinking too much

Eyes that have seen more grey skies than blue

Skin that has felt threatened more than loved at every touch

Hands that have been abandoned without a clue

A Forehead that creases with every pound she loses or gains

Lips that haven’t been smiling much lately

A Heart that has been broken time and again

And all this has come to her innately

Though she wants to give up on many days

Most of them she fights through

With the hope of being appreciated and cherished

Even if no man is able to love or see

Woman, you are exceptionally beautiful to me :)

To every woman out there who has made my life wonderful :)

Happy Women's day.

Look beyond.

Look beyond your computer screens

To see the person you have become

Far Away from what reality seemed

Today to the clicks and keys we succumb.

Look beyond what’s in or out

There is more to you than what you wear or eat

Leave behind the pictures in your best dress or the perfect pout

Let your imagination take a leap and start breathing

with a smile at the person on the next seat

Look beyond the curtains of prim and proper

Leave behind the shackles of best behavior

Raise some eyebrows by revealing the real ‘you’

Let your hair down and talk without a clue

Burn down the lists and give in

Kill the survival and start living.

Fuck convenience.

Look at that man on the street !

He sat on the street pavement and watched the cars pass by. Tonight the lights were hurting his eyes. Too much to drink too little to eat perhaps. He wrapped the piece of cloth that he had found today tightly around his shoulders. It was a bitter cold night and one of the worst ones he had faced. Shivering here seemed so ironical because he had all the money to buy a house and sleep under a warm quilt. But if he did that he would despise himself. Every day he saw children throw away half of the food in their plates, he was reminded of his father. Likewise His father never cared about how much money he spent. His father being a diamond dealer had provided his son with all the luxuries life could offer. After his father’s death in a local shootout, the hatred for money started seeping in. At the age of 13 he lay next to his father’s body covered in blood and swore never to touch money all his life. However he gave up by the next week as the stock of groceries ran out.

When he turned sixteen his uncle gave him a big fat envelope of money as his uncle latched the door behind him with his mother inside the room. He wept till his throat hurt, his mom remained silent. He swore never to touch money all his life and failed yet again when his mother was taken to the hospital next night. She poisoned herself and died with the guilt in her heart.

When he was twenty one he finally got richer than most of the people in town. He had the best girls, the best wine and the best clothes than money could offer. With so much of money pumping in his bank account he stopped hating money until one night the hatred hit him back.

He walked into a bar where he saw her. The heavy makeup could not disguise the amount of fear in her eyes. She looked like a scared little kid whose candy was being thrown around by the bigger kids. Only this time it was her dignity being passed around and being messed with. He tried to distract himself by trying to listen to what the tall, beautiful woman was saying. She was his date tonight and Oh the world said she had the most beautiful lips they had ever seen on a woman. Ofcourse He agreed. No matter how hard he tried, his eyes went fetching for the woman he couldn’t get out of his mind. There she stood again, now with a different group of people. He couldn’t take it anymore. He absolutely had to talk to her ! He wanted to take her into his arms and kiss those eyelids. He wanted to tell her that he could be the one to take her away from all of this. He could give her back the smile that was lost in this city. He could bring her back to the life she always dreamed of. As soon as he walked towards her the manager stopped him. He said “don’t try to rescue this one, she’s counting her last few days anyway” And then their eyes met. She smiled at him. They walked out.

Next morning when he watched her bringing him coffee, He couldn’t understand. He tried his best to recollect about the previous night but before he could ask anything she sat on the chair next to his bed, tied her wavy hair into a loose bun and spoke “thanks a lot you know.. No one has been so generous towards me.. I spiked your drinks last night.. I thought I’d do that and rob you and your girlfriend but you guys were so nice to me. I would’ve taken your money to buy myself some more of heaven. You know how heaven works right ? I cant say it out loud because your house is full of those policemen. Oh or maybe those are your servants? I cant really tell. So much of my vision has gone away. So your girlfriend seems to have vanished this morning. Maybe I did scare her. I wanted to buy it so bad! Those buggers have stopped trading it for flesh now. They say im dying and are asking me to stop. I don’t really care though. You know how to count sheep in your sleep? That’s the exact way to die I have learnt. Slowly. Or maybe not”

Before he could get his hands untangled she had already jumped out of his window.

That’s when he decided to quit money. Ofcourse the whole city laughed at the tabloid that stated the same. He couldn’t care less. He moved out of the city and lived inside the tree house that was orphaned by one of the rich kids. Many nights especially like tonight he didn’t have the will to go back to the house. He wanted to watch the cars. He loved the sound. Absolutely.

Who was he anyway ?

A wannabe non-conformist.

A man who didn’t think.

A man with no head.

Yes, many names they called him.

Again, He couldn’t care less.

Had he quit money ? Oh yes.

?

There are so many lands we are yet to touch
So many faces yet to be seen
And here we are fighting in sales, over love and money
Is there beauty left in anything we do?

Bloddy peepal !

People. They CONFUSE me ! and well they are one of the reasons for this frustration- venting post to decorate my old hopeless blog and get the ‘cribbing’ label ! I don’t want to be the person I have become. I don’t want to edit my thoughts, I don’t want to be the ‘giver’ (doormat suits more!), I don’t want to be the person who is so addicted to opinions ! I want to break free! Only for a few days but yes I want it! Being in love and being a love addict are two totally different things and I fear from becoming the latter. It is infuriating to read books or watch movies that have made us believe that love is extreme. It will either keep you extremely happy or make you extremely sad. Sorry boss ! that is where it all went wrong! When they talk about love why couldn’t they be clearer about the extra baggage that comes along like the irritating aunt with the awesome cousin?
Since I grew up watching hindi romantic crap (oh yes when kissing meant two flowers shaking) with my mom WHY did no one tell me that once raj and simran got married they will have issues.
BIG ones ! over their children, their sex life, his colleague, her colleague and the rest of the blah ! Why did no one ever tell me that once you fall in love you have to burden yourself with never ending arguments, ego hassles, bad conversations and transitions that were never a part of your plan. Ugh ! Maybe I love too much and want that exact amount of love. On some days I think that is a good thing but on most I feel insulted. Insulted because a person prefers doing 100 other things as to having one meaningful conversation with me. Love is NOT about your own happiness or so I have read! Why don’t YOU (everyone included) try reading that too?
Like one of my classmates rightly said once that love is the most commercialized and marketed emotion. Believe me IT IS !
I wish I could just Shift+Del everything that puts me off!!

Overuse of exclamation marks is a possible symptom of PMS ! xD